How's Your Sex Life?

On Wednesday, I went hiking and to dinner with my school. I've done this with the school a few times, but this time was particularly funny.

At 3pm we left school and went hiking in Igidae Park. It's right next to my school and the peaks there are small so it never took long.

At the top of one of the peaks there is an outdoor gym.

He was hanging upside down for literally 10 minutes.

P.E. Teachers showing off

Towards the end of the hike, we all gathered to a part of the park that was cordoned off, where the headteacher had set up a treasure hunt. He had hidden pieces of paper with your prize written on it, amongst the trees and leaves. I found four and gave three of them away, not knowing what I was leaving myself with till one teacher told me, a refill for washing up liquid!

My winning ticket.

After the hike we went to a restaurant for some Korean barbecue and iced kimchi! Yes! That's right! ICED kimchi! Sounds rank I know but it was nicer than any other kimchi I've had.

And the prizes for the treasure hunt were given out. 

When it was time to leave, the Vice Principle, who by this time was quite tipsy, told me to get in the back of the headteachers car because we were going for "round 2!"

I ended up in the back of the headteachers car, next to a P.E. teacher who was hammered. He asked me 3 or 4 times when I was going home, every time giving me the ajoshi inner thigh rub and telling me we're really good friends (I like the guy but the truth is, I don't even know his name!)

We went to a Korean bar where we had spicy odeng soup, beer and soju. The Vice Principle, after a few shots plucked up the courage to ask me a personal question.

"Mr. Kebin. You have girlfriend. Do you sex with her?"

"Yeh"

Looks of surprise appear on everyone's face. God knows why it's so surprising I would have sex with my girlfriend. 

"How long?"

I decided to have a little fun here "About an hour each time."

"WAAAHHH!! How many time?"

"4 or 5 a night"

"WAAAHHH!! Mr. Kebin you are very strong man."

He then proceeded to tell me two tales, both from 1983 when he went climbing in the Himalayas. The first went something like this:

"I staying at base camp. There are 4 men and 1 woman from England, in the same tent. One day, one England man go up the mountain then come back down and BOOM BOOM BOOM with woman (he honestly said this, clapping his hands as he said BOOM BOOM BOOM!) Next day, another man go up come down and BOOM BOOM BOOM. England woman have sex with all the men in the tent. I get no sleep."

I'm in hysterics.

Then he goes on to his next tale. "In Himalayas, I meet Netherlands woman. Pretty, but bad skin. She has very big bust. They are so big. Too big" The headteacher puts his hands in front of his chest, acting out a pair of big boobs bouncing up and down, and starts giggling.

"Everyday she say to me "let's drink beer." So I drink beer with her, then she try and touch me and kiss me! I say NO!!"

I told him about the time I went to Amsterdam and how many prostitutes there were. This seemed to spark a serious discussion in Korean between everyone. Had I overstepped the mark? Did they all think I was telling them I sleep with prostitutes on a regular basis?

The discussion suddenly stopped and their eyes turned to me.

"Mr. Kebin. I must ask you serious question."
"Ok." Gulp.
"Do you love people?"
"Uh...yeh?"
"Do you love people even if they are yellow, white or black?"
"Yeh."
"You are good person."
Then they all raised their glasses and toasted in my honour.

I thought "This day can't get any madder," then we went to a Noraebang(a karaoke room.) The P.E. teacher is slumped on a couch practically passed out, and the Vice Principle is singing Danny Boy while the Headteacher moves his hips like he's having sex.

I found You'll Never Walk Alone in the book of songs and it was too tempting, I sang it. 3 lines in and the VP starts singing with me, he knows most of it!

It's about 9 pm now. I've drank more than anyone and am only tipsy. The P.E. teacher is passed out, the VP has a glazed look across his face and the Headteacher is dancing like Right Said Fred. So, we went home.

"I too drink to drive so I call a rent car."

We were at a main road with dozens of taxis flying by, but instead he ordered one for our school, so we had to walk there, a 5 minute walk uphill.

The school was locked up by now. When we got there, a taxi arrived and a man got out the back in a suit with a name tag. The VP unlocked the gate and we got in his car. The man in the suit drove us home. I later found out there are companies in Korea that will drive you and your car home, from wherever you are, if you are too pissed!

Ha! Mad!

Kevla