Last Friday it was a nice warm day. Last lesson came and I'm thinking "Yes! I can go have a sit down after this and get some work done, then off to Seoul for the weekend."
With 10 minutes left of the lesson, my co-teacher says "Let's play a game!" Everyone is a happy little bunny.
Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a boy at the back of the class points at the floor underneath one of the girls chair and screams something in Korean. Chaos ensued! The girl and the kids around her jumped to their feet and ran. Chairs and tables got brushed aside. My co-teacher starts screaming and running round like a headless chicken.
I ask her "What's wrong?"
"It's terrible!" she replies, pointing under the girls desk.
I took a look under the desk and saw the biggest centipede I've ever seen! Seriously, it was about 6 inches long. It had a long black body and orange legs and head. It looked terrifying!
"Careful! It's poisonous!" said my co-teacher. Great! being the only male adult in the classroom, it's me who has to do battle with this lethal beast!
So, my co-teacher took all the kids out of the classroom and left me and Cedric (as he shall be called from now) in a battle to the death.
The wall separating the English classroom and the next has a long window running along it. So, naturally, the kids all stood at the window watching me trying not to die, pumping their little fists in the air and shouting "KEBIN! KEBIN!"
Before my co-teacher left the classroom she equipped me with bug spray and a broom and pan. I went in for the kill with the bug spray, spraying half the bottle on it, but this just made Cedric wet and more angry. I could see the anger in his eyes.
For hours...alright minutes...alright seconds!! we fought an epic battle. Both of us wary of the other, waiting for the opportune moment to strike the fatal blow. Much like this:
I swear the kids at the window were takings bets.
I decided to make my move. I brushed the big bugger onto the small pan I was equipped with. He started to crawl to my hand so I had to drop him back to the floor.
The tension was unreal and I began to sweat. I suddenly had another idea. I grabbed a box and swept him into it. He began crawling up the side of the box towards my hand, ready to sink his big centipedal teeth into it. The kids fell silent. I ran to the window. Just as his fangs were about to plunge into my skin, I chucked the little sod out the window.
From the second floor Cedric fell and his 6 inch body smacked against the concrete. I looked down in angst. Surely that drop must have killed him!
Alas....no! He got back on his feet and looked at me as if to say "is that all the great Paddy Dunn has to offer?" and crawled off to the gutter. I'm sure he'll be back for round two.
The kids now refer to me as Super Kev!
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